Inspired by the rich explorations from "The Power of Now" and thought-provoking podcasts like "Philosophize This," where the ideas of Gilles Deleuze and Byung-Chul Han are discussed, I've reached a transformative realization. We humans are not simple, monolithic beings but rather a complex blend of what I term as three primary entities or aspects that together form our multi-dimensional being we call a body:
- Your Mind: Represented by your brain, this is the cognitive powerhouse that serves as your practical navigator through the maze of life.
- Your Emotions: Located in your gut and intestines, this emotive compass helps you to sense and feel the world around you.
- Your Core Self: Anchored in your heart, this "watcher" or soul is that innermost silence you tap into during moments of love or profound joy.
By "entity," I mean a significant part of ourselves that could, at least theoretically, exist independently if given the right conditions. These entities are like musicians capable of solo performances. However, these aren't just isolated performers but part of an ensemble. For example scientists are able to keep a heart pumping in a vat alone with nutrients for a while, but for that entity to reach it's full potential, it needs to be inside of a body. When I speak of an entity I refer to the organs inside our bodies specifically, with all the chemical processes involved.
This brings me to the term "aspect." While each entity has its own set of functions and importance, they are also aspects of a greater holistic being—us. It's when they collaborate to form our being that we realize our fullest potential and the richness of human experience truly unfolds. When I use the the term aspect, I'm referring to the other plane of existence, eminence. This is closer to our imagination, but it's essentially our perception of these entities, or if you're religious think of it as where heaven is located.
I believe that a big part of our suffering as a society stems from the fact that many of us, myself included, will put one of these 3 entities in an elevated position because of distraction, and let it run our body to the detriment of other parts of our body, and we do this unconsciously.
Contrary to the conventional view of individualism that promotes us as indivisible, single units—an idea that has led to unnecessary suffering—I argue that recognizing and harmonizing these three aspects can unlock better mental health. This isn't just a spiritual notion; it has tangible, biological ramifications. When you adopt this nuanced perspective, you'll likely find your capacity for empathy and love expanding.
Why? Because even your solo acts are, in essence, a harmonious interplay between these three internal aspects. Mastering this balancing act within you equips you to navigate the external world with a deeper understanding and kindness toward the multi-layered struggles we all inevitably face.
AI Generated Artwork by Me: Our Eminence
I generated this picture using ChatGPT and the following prompt: Vector representation of emotional self-awareness inside a luminous human figure. Within this figure: 1. A human gut stands as the wellspring of Feelings/Emotions. 2. A brain, illustrating the Mind and its capacity to sift through emotions. 3. A heart, the emblem of compassion, linked to the Gut and Brain. Soft lines or a subtle glow tie these elements, signifying the ceaseless flow of emotional and cognitive processes. The backdrop is adorned with a tranquil, soft-colored abstract design, alluding to a harmonized emotional state.
When most people ponder their own identity, the brain takes center stage. However, this cerebral focus overlooks other vital components that contribute to who we truly are. Elevating the mind alone is akin to lauding the blueprint of an airplane while ignoring the human ingenuity and collaboration required to actually build it.
I've created a visual representation to illuminate this multi-dimensional human experience, using ChatGPT to generate an image described as a "Our Eminence" This figure encompasses three key elements:
- The Gut: A wellspring of feelings and emotions.
- The Brain: The processor and evaluator of our emotional state.
- The Heart: A symbol of our core self and compassionate nature, which is intricately linked to both the brain and gut.
The heart serves as the emblem of our core self in this visualization. While biologically, many of our emotions emanate from chemicals in the gut, I chose the heart for its dual role. It not only connects the brain and gut but has long stood as a universal symbol of love, which, in my view, is the essence of our humanity.
By understanding ourselves as a concert of these three aspects rather than a monolithic unit with different entities, we can better navigate the internal struggles for control and achieve a more harmonious state of being.
How might this affect my day to day life?
To help paint a picture of different ways we can initially lose our balance by focusing on one entity over the other, here are some analogies I find helpful:
- Logic Over Personal Needs: Mind over Body
- Imagine you're a ship captain plotting a course through stormy seas. You're so focused on the navigation charts and long-term goals that you ignore the immediate leaks in your ship. As a result, the ship might reach the destination, but at the cost of immense damage. Similarly, when you solely chase future projections, you risk ignoring the immediate needs of your body, like rest and nourishment, which can lead to long-term harm.
- Loneliness and Physical Relationships: Body over Mind
- Think of your body like a car running low on fuel. In your desperation to refuel, you pull into the first gas station you find, without checking the quality of the fuel or the reputation of the station. Sure, you satisfy the immediate need, but the bad fuel might damage your engine in the long run. Similarly, succumbing to physical urges because of loneliness might offer temporary relief but could have lasting emotional repercussions.
- Mindless Eating and Distraction: Mind over Body
- Imagine a juggler juggling balls in the air, but also trying to read a book at the same time. The juggler becomes so engrossed in the book that the balls start to drop. In the same vein, when you divide your attention between eating and something as engaging as social media, you're likely to drop the ball on mindful eating, leading to overconsumption.
- Religious Exclusivity: Mind over Body
- Picture a gardener so obsessed with growing one particular flower that they remove all other plants, considering them weeds. While the chosen flower may flourish, the garden as a whole becomes less diverse and resilient. Similarly, being overly religious might narrow your social circle, excluding those who don't fit your vision of "heaven," thereby making your life less rich.
- Fitness Over Socialization: Body over Mind
- Picture a virtuoso violinist meticulously honing a complex solo piece, so consumed by the pursuit of perfection that they turn down every invitation to join an orchestra. While the solo may be executed flawlessly, the violinist forgoes the enriching experience of making music as part of a collective. Likewise, an overzealous focus on fitness—or any individual hobby—can estrange you from the social tapestry that both your mind and body instinctively seek.
Benefits of Religion and Ritual
Here's where many religious individuals have an edge: the communal aspect of religious practices and their ritualistic nature, like attending church, offers a built-in social framework that helps nourish both the mind (intellectually, by speaking with others), and the gut (by taking in the smells and sounds and vision of others closely around you). This satisfies the intrinsic human need for social interaction for both your mind and your gut, potentially counterbalancing the isolating effects of other life choices or habits. However, leaning too much into that framework leads to it's own problems.
Consider a person who builds a ship to cross a river. The ship is supposed to be a tool to get from one side to another—just as religious beliefs are tools for moral and spiritual guidance. However, imagine if the person becomes so attached to the ship that they carry it on their back everywhere they go, even after crossing the river. Similarly, religious extremism is like refusing to leave the ship behind, becoming so consumed by it that it obstructs the original purpose: to guide you through life, not weigh you down or harm others.
But my religion is the "truth", why wouldn't I carry it around everywhere, I may run into another body of water!
By focusing on the future body of water, you are no longer living in the present, you are now living in the future, inside your own mind.
This brings us to an important question: What exactly do we mean by "truth"? Before delving further into the impact of subjective truths, let's clarify what we're talking about. The term 'truth' is multifaceted, varying based on context. In philosophy, it might refer to correspondence theories that align statements with facts, or coherence theories that fit beliefs into a consistent system. In religion, truth often signifies divine revelation or moral principles.
However, when we talk about the feeling of "truth," it's a subjective experience. It's created by a chemical reaction in our bodies, validating our sense of what's "right" or "real." There's no universal Truth with a capital 'T' that everyone can agree upon. Each of us has a personalized experience of truth, shaped by our own unique biological systems. So, the pursuit of "truth" is more about chasing a feeling than an objective, external reality.
Isn't my truth who I am?
Many of these people will argue that they are pursuing truth, or who they are by living in the future or the past, essentially inside their mind. This is a shield that they put up, to give them hope for the future. Given our understanding that truth is a subjective sensation, it becomes clear that one cannot find Objective Truth in religion—or anywhere else for that matter—because Truth is not Objective but Subjective.
You can't access someone else's unique sensation of truth, but you can have your own personalized version informed by your feelings and experiences. Our mistake often lies in seeking a universal "Truth" in external realms—be it religion, politics, addiction, gender, or sexuality. We look outward rather than inward, disregarding the simple fact that everyone's sense of truth is inherently unique.
This search for an external, one-size-fits-all truth is futile because our sensory perception is limited. We're not equipped to view reality through all existing spectrums—just the ones we can sense, interpret, in a word, feel.
In essence, there is no singular, overarching Truth that everyone can point to. Instead, truth is a highly personalized chemical reaction, produced and felt within the confines of our biological systems. Acknowledging this allows for a more nuanced understanding of human experiences, steering us away from the vain pursuit of an objective, universal truth, and fostering a more harmonious coexistence among our subjective truths.
What are the consequences of confusing truth with identity?
When you understand yourself as a blend of three distinct aspects—your Mind, your Emotions, and your Core Self—you gain the ability to hone in on your own personal truths, rather than getting sidetracked by societal labels or the proclaimed "universal truths" of others.
The danger lies in conflating someone else's truths with your own identity. This mistake is easy to make, given societal conditioning that pushes us to view ourselves as single, indivisible entities. As a result, we may latch onto a singular truth and define ourselves by it, while ignoring other internal signals such as hunger, loneliness, fear, happiness, love, or presence.
Because truth is fundamentally a subjective chemical reaction, the dissonance we experience when a deeply-held truth is challenged can be painful. The mind, unable to reconcile this internal conflict, might react by generating emotions like anger or rage as a smokescreen for the underlying pain. Similarly, your body might seek escape through addictive behaviors, ranging from substance abuse to overeating to promiscuity.
The key to navigating this complex landscape is to resist such distractions and focus on discovering your own subjective truths. When you manage to treat your own internal aspects with kindness, you naturally extend this compassionate understanding to the complexities within others.
What happens to those that get lost in their labels or truths?
To make it easier to understand, let's use a few analogies.
- Imagine your identity as a complex ecosystem, like a forest. In a healthy forest, various elements—trees, plants, animals—all co-exist and contribute to a balanced environment. When one species becomes invasive and takes over, it disrupts the harmony, leading to an unhealthy ecosystem. Similarly, when you allow one part of your identity to dominate such as your religion or politics, it's like letting that invasive species overrun your personal "forest," disrupting your overall sense of self and well-being.
- Let's also picture a painter so engrossed in a single color from their palette that they decide to create art using just that one hue. While they may produce something striking, the lack of other colors limits their expression and the richness of their work. Similarly, becoming overly absorbed in a single facet of your identity, like gender or sexuality, can limit the full range of your human experience and expression.
Empathy is key when considering people who find themselves overtaken by these "invasive species" of identity. It's like watching someone navigate a ship they can't steer or a painter confined to a single color. Acknowledge the personal toll it might take, such as loss of family or community, and consider that this loss signifies a deeper struggle within their "personal ecosystem."
The Watcher: Embracing Your Core Self
Shift your perspective from seeing yourself as a singular individual to adopting the role of the 'Watcher,' an observer of your own emotions. By mindfully acknowledging your feelings without passing judgment, you reduce their intensity and allow your core self—the Watcher—to take the helm.
Your core self inherently embodies a state of love and joy, enabling a level of emotional intelligence and cooperation that surpasses animal instincts.
Strengthening the Watcher: Practical Exercises
Cultivating the Watcher within involves focused practices like meditation and journaling. Sitting quietly or committing your emotions to paper forces you to confront your normally subdued gut feelings, pulling them into the realm of conscious thought.
Journal about both your pain and your gratitude. This balanced approach not only allows you to acknowledge the origins of your negative emotions but also dilutes their intensity with positive affirmations.
Daily life often prompts the mind to mask these raw feelings with various defense mechanisms, transmuting them into emotions like anger or jealousy. Over time, this masking process can obscure the root cause of your emotional pain, leaving you tethered to misleading feelings that you falsely identify as your 'truth.'
By consistently journaling, you break down these emotional barriers, exposing the root causes of your pain and making them manageable. This emotional clarity enables you to engage others with genuine honesty, as you're no longer entangled in the superficial layers of deflection your mind creates.
This heightened level of self-awareness allows you to tackle interpersonal issues at their core, rather than merely addressing surface-level symptoms.
Balancing Love and Boundaries as the Watcher
Being a Watcher centered on love doesn't mean becoming a doormat for others. Recognizing your core self as a triad of entities—mind, heart, and gut—intensifies your need for self-compassion. When engaging with others, especially in moments of conflict, this perspective keeps you anchored in kindness not just towards them, but first and foremost, towards yourself.
Let's say your spouse says something hurtful. As a singular entity, it's tempting to snap back—after all, it feels like a one-on-one battle. But when you view both yourself and your spouse as multi-faceted beings, the dynamic shifts. You can more readily perceive the source of their emotional turbulence, whether it's driven by the mind's ambitions, the heart's feelings, or the body's instincts.
For example, if your spouse is fixated on a business venture, their focus might be predominantly on future success, and less on the emotional nuance of the present moment. This tunnel vision could lead them to say things that hurt you.
Likewise, if your spouse seems emotionally distant or narcissistic, chances are they are seeking external validation—perhaps through social media, a notorious distraction from real emotional connection.
The allure of likes and comments on social media can trap people in a cycle of constant validation, reinforcing their individual 'truths' and identities, while simultaneously distancing them from their real-life relationships.
Social Media and you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuFlMtZmvY0
I feel like this video does a good job of explaining why social media is so dangerous.
Navigating Pain in Relationships: A Two-Way Street
Acknowledging your own complexities and those of others allows for a richer, more empathetic interaction. But empathy doesn't mean endlessly tolerating harmful behavior. When you approach someone from a place of shared pain and vulnerability, you're extending an invitation for honest dialogue.
If the other person responds with anger rather than vulnerability, that's a red flag. They're not engaging with you from a position of love but from a need to be 'right.' They're seeking that burst of 'Truth chemical' that comes when you give in to their anger, a win they'll likely weaponize in future interactions.
So, what do you do when faced with persistent harm? Your multi-faceted perspective provides a deeper understanding. You recognize that they're not just hurting 'you,' but attacking various aspects of your being. Maybe they're feeding off drama to fill their emotional voids, or perhaps their behavior makes it hard for you to focus on self-care.
The reality is, you can only carry their pain for so long before it affects you detrimentally. If you opt to numb yourself through addictions or distractions, you're not really addressing the issue—you're merely dodging it. The moment you choose to focus on your own well-being, the severity of their inflicted pain becomes too much to bear.
You now have the clarity and strength to make difficult decisions—not as a lone entity, but as a council of your internal triad. Because you understand the multiple dimensions of your own pain, you can also see theirs more clearly. While it's painful to recognize that you can't change their behavior, you can decide how much pain you're willing to endure for the sake of a relationship.
Your empathy expands, but so does your understanding of your own limits. You're not just making these hard choices for 'you,' but for the trinity of beings that comprise your true self.
Confront Your Pain: The Power of Presence
Embracing the philosophy of "The Power of Now," you learn to dive deep into your pain rather than skirting around it. By sitting quietly and acknowledging this discomfort, you create space for your mind and body to release it. This is what it means to be truly present.
When you confront your pain and understand its roots, you approach others with a balanced sense of strength and vulnerability. You become a mirror of honesty, deflecting the impulse to project negativity onto others. This newfound focus gifts you a sense of inner tranquility.
The Realm of Control
Sustaining this peace hinges on a simple yet profound truth: Focus on what you can control. The moment you dwell on factors outside this realm, anxiety seeps in—your mind's alarm system signaling you're veering off the path of presence. You start wrestling with phantoms from the past or uncertainties of the future, thereby disturbing the equilibrium of the present moment.
Before reacting to any situation, pause and evaluate its position in your 'realm of control.' If it lies outside, any reaction isn't just futile—it adds to your pain. However, if it is something you can influence, channel your energies into positive action. Whether that involves leaving a harmful relationship or dispelling toxic thoughts that obstruct your self-relationship, taking control of the now is the key to lasting peace.